How Our Values Can Keep us From Success

The following is a small excerpt from Work Book Three from the Going for Gold - Goal Setting that Really Works - Personal Development Program.

It gives us insight into why sometime traditional goal setting methods do not work or simply do not go far enough in changing the way we think of ourselves and hence - keep us back from achieving our dreams and aspirations.

One of the reasons why traditional goal setting doesn’t always work is because they don’t address the reasons why you haven’t got some of the things you want… already. I’m talking about stuck points and un-useful Status Quos.

The second reason is that traditional goal setting doesn’t address un-useful rules, un-useful internal mental imaging or other kinds of conflicts.

The third reason is that as you change and grow evolving into your “ideals,” becoming more and more successful now and through life…… we want you to be prepared … completely able to handle the challenges that may appear from time to time … completely comfortable in your… self … as you become more successful.

Maybe you have heard of people who became successful or won a lottery…. and then some how lost it all because they hadn’t prepared their minds for that success, and as a consequence began to sabotage their success.

We want you to be protected from that by preparing you properly. That’s why we are installing these Smart Technologies, preparing you for your ongoing successes, moving from strength to strength over time and through time. Allowing you to allow yourself to pull together congruently….

This is the level of thinking that is missing from every other goal setting system I have ever studied. That’s the most compelling difference between our system and others.

Traditional Goal Setting is just that …….Goal Setting.

Where as, this part of “Core Resourcing” is all about …… “Goal Getting.”

Understanding Values

Webster’s Dictionary defines Values as principles, qualities or entities that are intrinsically valuable or desirable. The term “Value” originally meant “the worth of something”. Basically Values are something we really want and move towards or something we really want to avoid and so move away from; that means that they are the primary source of our motivations. An example of a Towards Value, might be wealth or good health or freedom.

An example of an Away From Value, might be poverty, sickness or imprisonment.

When people’s values are being met they feel a sense of satisfaction, harmony or rapport. When their values aren’t being met they will feel dissatisfied, incongruent or violated.

Values are made up of a chain of beliefs, all locked together – from Concept to Behaviour.

How Values are Organized

In our minds we arrange our values in hierarchies. An “order of importance” to you. These can be recognized by watching where and on what a person invests their time, energy and money.

Incongruence and conflict shows up when a person says that they value X but we observe them putting their time, energy and money into other things by comparison,

Congruence is when they say they value X, and then you can see that that’s also how they invest their time energy and money.

How Values are Formed

Research by Sociologist Morris Massey in part, suggests that there are 4 major periods that a person will go through in the creation of values and personality.

1. The Basic Programming Period which may occur pre-birth until age 4
2. The Imprint Period, which occurs from birth until age 7.
3. The Modelling Period which occurs from age 8 until 13; and
4. The Socializing Period from ages 14 to 21.

During our Basic Programming we soak up everything, and largely without any filters. What I mean by “filter” is that at that age, we may not have the ability to determine the difference between useful and un-useful information. It’s just information that goes straight in, so by age 4 most of our major programming and personality has been formed.

During our Imprint Period ages 0 to 7 we continue to soak up everything like a sponge; we pick up and store everything that goes on in our environments and from our parents and other people and events that occur around us. It’s imprinted into us.

The Modelling Period from ages 8 to 13 is when we begin to consciously and unconsciously model basic behaviors of other people. Then we may also begin to mimic the values of those people.

From Massey’s research he suggests that our major values about life are picked up during this period about age 10. In addition he suggests that our values are based on where we were and what was happening in the world at that time.

The Socialisation Period from ages 14 to 21. The young person picks up relationship and social values, most of which will be used throughout the rest of his or her life. By age 21 the formation of core values is just about complete and will not change unless a significant emotional event occurs (or someone takes this course).

Now having said all of that, there is some new evidence to suggest that all of these periods are happening earlier......

David then goes on to explain how often time our values cause us to link "meanings" to things which in turn, influences our "auto-piloting" which is why people will fall into self-sabotaging behaviors - usually completely unwittingly, due to the fact these values have been installed through their life and previous experiences - and hence you are constantly fighting with yourself to try and fight to achieve your goals rather than have your "auto-piloting" guide you towards your goals - almost unconciously.

This is the foundation of what the Go for Gold Goal Setting course is all about.

Identify the stuff that you may not even know exists, eliminate the negatives, reinforce the positives and only then will you be able to make rapid progress towards achieving your goals and obtaining the life that you've always dreamed of (but intuitivley known) - exists.

The Law of Correspondence says “As within, so without”.

Your outer worlds will always mirror what is happening inside of you.